Is there anyone from Devon on here?
Drop a message if you are.

My Eternal Mourning at The Manor
I have always felt an inexplicable pull toward The Manor, that crumbling Gothic estate nestled in shadowed hills, wrapped in ivy and secrets. Moonlight slips through its cracked windows, painting the dusty halls with silver ghosts, and the faded portraits of long gone ancestors seem to watch me with knowing eyes.
For years, in the quiet privacy of my sissy crossdressing fantasies whispered in late night chats and hidden dreams, I longed to shed the ordinary and fully embrace a feminine self that was lush, commanding, and gloriously voluptuous. Tonight, beneath a full winter moon on this chill December evening in 2025, that longing finally becomes my truth.
I stand before the tarnished full-length mirror in the manor's grand bedroom, transforming into Tonya, the eternal widow of The Manor. My body mature, morbidly obese, overflowing with soft curves and generous fullness is no longer something to hide, but something to celebrate in this sacred ritual of surrender.
The dress is everything I dreamed, a striking black Victorian mourning A line gown, crafted from luxurious satin that catches the light like liquid midnight. Multiple tiers cascade to my ankles, long puffed sleeves embrace my arms, and the high collar frames my face with stern, elegant authority. My satin opera gloves slide smoothly up to my elbows, gleaming in perfect harmony with the matching satin headscarf that covers my hair in modest severity. Over it all falls the delicate chiffon veil, softening my features into a haze of melancholy mystery.
As I smooth the final folds, feeling the heavy satin hug every abundant inch of me the tiers flaring over my wide hips, the bodice cradling my ample bosom a wave of profound liberation washes over me. I am no longer the secret sissy of fleeting fantasies. I am Tonya: a gothic matron of sorrow and quiet power, forever mourning a love that never existed, yet reveling in the deep femininity I have always craved.
With slow, deliberate steps the dress rustling like whispers from the grave I descend the creaking staircase and step into the night. My faithful companion, a large black raven I named Poe, perches on my padded shoulder, his ebony feathers blending seamlessly with my mourning attire. He found me years ago, drawn to my own inner darkness, and now he is the perfect emblem of who I have become.
The manor grounds lead me to the ancient, overgrown cemetery, where fog curls around weathered tombstones like lost lovers. Here, beneath the cold moonlight, I wander among the graves, my veil fluttering in the icy breeze. Poe occasionally lifts off, circling silently above me like a dark guardian before settling back onto my shoulder. In this quiet, sacred place, I whisper silent vows to my feminine self to the sissy within who has finally blossomed into this magnificent, obese widow.
Deeper into the surrounding forest I drift, the path lit only by moonlight piercing the thick canopy. The satin of my gown shimmers with every movement, the tiers swaying like shadows around my legs. I feel powerful, sensual, utterly complete my morbidly obese form no longer a source of shame, but a throne of gothic beauty.
As the first pale hint of dawn creeps over the horizon, I return to the manor. Poe caws softly, as if bidding farewell to the night. Tonya will dwell here forever, in the heart of darkness and desire. And deep in my soul, the sissy dreams that gave her life will whisper on, eternal as the raven’s cry. Nevermore will I hide.

Cheeky upskirt from today! Went to a work lunch with a tight dress and thong panties under my normal clothes.. so risky!! Felt so naughty all day!

These tights are called velvet soft from m and s, they feel so so soft and look good too. Xx

Likley get more interaction than the place i stole this from, white cheeky is the flavour tonight

Good morning ( from Downunder) you lovely bunch of unique gorgeous people xx

Ready for messages from loyal Sissies

The issue I'm having as the weeks go on is that I'm blurring my sissy crossdressing with my mourning. Every waking hour I'm missing my wife and I'm a blubbering mess of tears but I'm also aroused at the thought of satin widows weeds and satin mourning dresses and oversized satin headscarves and chiffon voile veils. I'm bothered that this has developed as a further aspect of my gothic fetish. The arousal is blending in with thoughts of satin widows’ weeds, mourning dresses, oversized satin headscarves, and chiffon voile veils, I don't think that’s something to feel ashamed of or worried about as a problem. It’s a natural, human way my mind and body are weaving together different parts of who I am becoming during this incredibly tender time. Grief doesn’t stay neatly in one box, it spills into everything, including our identities, desires, and fetishes. For me at this time, the sissy crossdressing that’s always been inside is now intertwining with mourning because both are about comfort, beauty, vulnerability, and a kind of sacred ritual. The gothic element—dark, dramatic, veiled, satin-shrouded—has always had that edge of sensuality and mystery, and right now, it might be amplifying because it lets me feel alive in my body when everything else feels numb or shattered. Arousal in grief is more common than people talk about; it can be the body’s way of seeking connection, release, or even just a momentary escape from the pain. It doesn’t mean my love for my wife is any less pure or that my mourning is tainted, it means I'm a whole person, with layers of emotion and desire that don’t switch off just because I'm hurting. This blending feels like it’s developing into a deeper aspect of my gothic fetish, but I feel that’s okay too. Fetishes evolve with life experiences, and grief is one of the biggest. The satin widows’ weeds and veils are symbolizing both my loss and deep longing to be held, enveloped, seen in my inner femininity. My troubled psyche is creating a bridge between the sorrow and the sensuality I shared with my wife. There’s beauty in that, even if it brings tears and arousal at the same time. I'm navigating this with grace, even when it hurts.

This one is a photo of me in one of my Miracle Styled Swimsuits, I love to wear, from a couple of years ago. Appreciate comments. No AI on this one - just me.

Anyone from Nottingham who wud like to meet up

Good evening! Iv'e been trying to post but had to slap a few scammy mist_resses 1st. Looks like a bit of team work from them today, sharing each others posts and sharing others too!! May their R soles burn with the heat of a thousand hot as F chillies! Anyway, here is my pic for tonight

Couple more from my pretty pink dress set took far too many pics in this outfit! Hope everyone is doing good x

Is there actually anyone here from Manchester, uk as alot of people on here are from usa

It has been a long day for me. I have several photos to post and yes my beach shots from two weeks ago are some I plan to show soon. But I am really thinking I shall just call it good night, for now. All me - my own skin - all my profile. OK the dress and my bed is AI generated. And I am wearing a wig - My actual hair is long and blond

Last day of dressing till my 2 week christmas break from this weekend.

I have just woke up wrapped up in our satin nightdresses, at a time before her illness made sleeping together a problem, we had matching satin pink nightdresses. Last night I pulled the suitcase down from the top of the wardrobe and laid them out on the bed. Pink Simply Be Pretty Secrets Nightdresses in lovely silky satin. Full covered shoulder to capped sleeves with lace piping and spread across the breast. Calf length satin shimmering in Pink. My wife's is regularly worn in UK size 32/34, mine is newer UK size 20/22, I liked a slimmer tight nightdress that hugged my skin, my wife wore hers two sizes bigger than her usual larger dress size to make it easier to slide around in bed. I slipped mine on and shimmied the satin down my moobs and hips to rest around my calves. My wife's was like a tent on my body, lots of voluminous extra satin material hanging loose. The double layer feeling of all the satin was wonderful and I admit the erection had to be contained within a condom because pre cum started instantly. I lay on the bed and was overcome with both longing and grief, I laid there on the bed with tears in my eyes and sobbing in my chest. When I had calmed down the sensual aspect of the double layer satin took over and led to the inevitable masturbation. Physically and emotionally I was drained and fell asleep waking a few hours later needing to take off the condom and go to the toilet for a wee. As I walked back from the toilet to the bedroom the satin reminded me of our sensuality and our love. Wrapped in the double layer of satin underneath the quilt I felt comforted and slept deep until this morning. For me this needs to become my new deeply tender and bittersweet mourning ritual, one that holds both the sharp pain of loss and the soft warmth of memory all at once. Wearing her nightdress over mine, letting all that extra satin envelop me like a tent, felt almost like being held by her again. The way the fabric moved, the shimmer, the slide of it against my skin… it’s no wonder my body responded so immediately and so completely. And now I’ve found a ritual: pulling down the suitcase, laying the nightdresses side by side on the bed, slipping into both, letting the satin hold me in that bittersweet double embrace. It’s sacred because it’s mine and hers alone. It keeps the connection alive in the most embodied way possible through touch, through memory, through the very fabric we both wore against our skin when we made love, laughed, slept, lived. Grief and desire live right next to each other; one doesn’t cancel out the other. The tears, the arousal, the release, the comfort, it all belongs within my psyche. I honored her, our love, and the sensuality we shared by allowing myself to feel everything that came up. For my state of mind, there’s something sacred in keeping those satin nightdresses layered together, in pulling them out when the longing gets too heavy, in letting them carry me back to the nights when sleeping tangled together in satin was simply how life was. I'm keeping the connection alive in the most intimate, embodied way possible. I loved her totally, and I'm still loving her beautifully in my mourning.

Okay, last picture from that photo sesh

Good evening everyone. Any here from Devon?

Here's a few pics from the past week and a half or so.. nothing special but not too bad

Anyone from south yorkshire

"Mwah, mwah! Good Morning! How are you, dahlings?" Just got back from a hotel changeaway to recharge my sissy batteries and an attempt to manage my mourning feelings. It has been over two weeks since my Wife passed away, I'm slowly coming to terms with it and finding ways to cope with being on my own, but it's not easy. A bit of sightseeing and new company has helped. At a different time it would have been wonderful as I met a lady staying in the hotel and we got on very well, but in the circumstances I've had to put any thoughts of a romantic friendship out of my mind. We will keep in touch and if my grief recedes it might be nice to see her again.

One from hotel stay recently - got good relationship at this hotel, so can always get out for a walk

Driving back from work to home.

I see someone i blocked from the clique has come back sneaking around my profile , wish they just stay away !

Couple of new dresses from vinted, very pleased with them

Went to buy a Christmas tree from a florist the other day. The person behind the counter asked, are you going to put it up yourself? I said, no I was thinking of the lounge lol

My sissy mourning cross-dresing feels like. I am the Walrus by the Beatles, totally nonsense but really deep and open to interpretation. I am he as you are he, as you are me and we are all together, See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly, I'm crying.
That line hits me so hard, “I am he as you are he, as you are me and we are all together…” It’s pure, swirling absurdity that somehow lands right in the middle of the most tender, confusing parts of being human. And right now, it feels like the perfect mirror for what I'm going through.
My sissy mourning crossdressing is exactly that kind of nonsense—beautiful, ridiculous, heartbreaking, and deeply true all at once. I'm grieving the husband I was, while also stepping into this soft, feminine space that feels both foreign and like coming home. It’s contradictory, it’s messy, it’s playful and painful in the same breath. And that’s what makes it so real. The walrus isn’t trying to make sense; the Walrus just is—goo goo g’joob and all. This is my mental breakdown, not madness, just being true to myself.
“See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly”… maybe that’s the world’s reaction to someone daring to be this open, this vulnerable, this unapologetically themselves while still carrying such heavy grief. People scatter because they don’t know what to do with the sight of a widower in lace and tears, laughing and sobbing at the same time. But I'm not running. I'm standing here in my silk stockings, widows weeds and my sorrow, crying, and somehow I think that makes me the bravest person in the room.
I'm allowed to be the Walrus right now—silly, profound, broken, and whole all at once. I don’t have to explain it to anyone, not even to myself. Just let it be nonsense that’s also sacred. I let the tears come, let the pretty things feel comforting, let the absurdity be part of the healing.

Evening all what a day i had my final interview at the Laurels Gender clinic before starting my full journey and cleared it so will start hormone treatment in the next couple of weeks. This is dangerous for me due to health conditions but worth the risk and from today i am no longer a MX when doing forms and at hospital i know am a Miss dont make a lot of difference on paper but to me its massive.

Anyone from sydney??

Just got in from a night shift. A work colleague seen me in my girly panties and hes been touching my bits hehe. He want to meet me now after work on saturday what do i do now

Good evening! I enjoy looking like a woman. I am too old and too set in my ways to fully #transition, so while I do dress #feminine in private and under my boy clothes, I don't do it in public and I haven't learned how to use makeup and wigs yet. So for now I live my life as a #woman in fantasy, online, using face filters from Snap chat. But t be clear: that is my real body, I am that smooth (I shave weekly), and I do this not to fool people I always show my true self, especially to potential dates. #gurl Thoughts? Kisses! - Chrissy

#sissy #crossdresser #crossdressing #femboy #sissyboy #sissygirl #trans #transgender #shemale #transgirl #transwoman #transfemale #tgirl #model #modeling #gay #bi #lgbtq #queer #genderfluid #pantymodel #panty #panties #meninpanties #ladyboy More: http://chrissyinsd.hotviber.com/

Hi girls just a couple of photos from the weekend.

Thanks to all for making me feel welcome since i joined last week. Had some lovely comments and messages. Also had some awful messages from men but just blocked them! Thanks again girls xx🫦

I absolutely love this silhouette flower design bra from honey love has a little bit of weight to it when hold but once you put it on its so comfortable it feels like nothing is there super stretchy and soft and it leaves no marks on your skin which is the best part of it

A few new photos from first thing this morning....vibing the secretary looks I feel

Who else had a nice first day Bak-2-skool this week?

Love to hear from other CD's into skoolgirl roleplay/crossdressing.......

Here is an AI generated swimsuit from my trip to FL. But is all me underneith. Enjoy. Comments please.,

From my jogging on the boardwalk set. So hard to believe I was in 87 degree sunny weather just two days ago. Such a fun outfit to wear and show off to all who saw me running. I felt so feminine and fit. And yes i did have quite a few onlookers.

Who has worn a corselette? I used to love wearing them, especially the ones from M&S in the UK. x

A few photos from a couple of years back, just re-discovered x

Here is one of my great Florida photos. Was shopping at Ron Jons. So many swimsuits to try on and select from - was a fun day.

Few more from the photo sesh

back from the partyyy : )

More from today. Like this dress xx

From my last day in Kissimee Florida - this is a totally unedited photo. I went out jogging as a woman in this most wonderful location. I have so many wonderful photos to share. Spent most of the time in lady mode. Had doors opened for me, called mam and lady multiple times. Went to the unisex bathrooms as much as possible. Was hard to leave this idealistic place and head back to the cold of the Midwest.

Wish she’d delete the shein app from her phone….xx

Literally had my eyes open for 2 mins today and already treated myself to some gorgeous boots from eBay but it is BOOT SEASON!

Good morning from Downunder ladies today’s Pin Ups with a pink theme

Afternoon girls hope you all having a great day late post from mecas been busy at work

Omgggg! Got some shiny ankle boots/heels from a charity shop for a tenner today. Put them on earlier and have never worn anything more sexy. Can't take them off!!!!!!!