Alone, in a hotel room...

I'm tired of living with someone and it feels like I'm living alone

Home alone today.

Just some thoughts from myself.

im getting deeper into crossdressing lately. mostly due to encouragements i got on this site, so thank you everyone for making me feel like im not alone, and what im doing is not really all that wrong.

my next step will be doing makeup. but i guess it would take time to master it. i will probably try then to maybe go out at night something, at least to take a walk around another neighborhood.

when i started crossdressing it was for pure arousal (i guess it starts like that for most of us). dont get me wrong, there is still plenty of arousal to go around when i dress up. but lately, i found that what im enjoying the most is the comfort of woman clothes, and confidence i gain from wearing it. but most of all, i caught myself enjoying the "little things" while i dress up.

even though it's a chore to shave my legs, i really love doing it. i love the scent of body lotion when i apply it, and how soft and shiny my skin feels and looks. even though that doing my toenails takes forever and my back hurts, i really love doing it. i love that i naturally started to tiptoe around the house when i switch between my shoes. i love how i cant decide what to wear even though i have dozens of dresses. i love how i naturally cross my legs when i sit down. i fell in love in the feeling of my long hair waving and sliding across my bare back. i love the feeling when i comb my hair while looking myself in the mirror. i love playing around with a lock of my hair to keep my hands busy and adjusting it constantly over my ear. i love the feeling of wearing tights to bed to take a nap. i like how sad it makes me to see my tights get a run in them. i love to use my finger to adjust the strap on my heels. right now, im wearing some super soft opaque tights, casual bodycon dress, some casual white lingerie, some really nice heels and it is the best, most comfortable feeling to just sit like that in my chair, writing this.

my point is, dressing up makes me feel good. but little things along the way makes me feel really great.

cant wait to cross my legs in front the mirror, to tackle challenge of make up, and top it off with some nice jewelry.

i know, really long one. but i really wanted to say this. what "little things" do you enjoy the most?

I feel alone in this world and know understand me I don't really blame people because I don't even understand myself

Come, mortal, fold into these arms once more
And let your trembling flesh surrender down
This heart, ancient, accursed, unquiet drum
Thunders through veins like war-drums in the bone
It beats for you alone, it bleeds for you alone
A crimson hymn no living ear should know
It is the drum that shatters graves at midnight
It is the song the damned intone below
Once I cradled the rarest rose of Eden
Whose petals dared to open against the dark
But winter’s cruelest breath, more pitiless than God
Frosted the bloom and tore my blossom apart
O loneliness that gnaws the marrow clean
O hopelessness that carves the centuries deep
Across the blackened vault of time I hunt
And find no love more monstrous than the one I keep
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Still falls the rain like silver knives (still falls the rain)
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Still falls the everlasting night
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Be mine through every death (be mine forever)
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Blood, O blood, O blood, O blood, O blood, O blood
Let me alone become your final shelter
The only shield between your pulse and dawn
Now heaven’s floor lies cracked and weeping stars
Gold flames that mock the ruin I’ve become
They blaze for you, they sear for you, they curse me
Each spark a judgment I can never flee
Come, press your living throat against my mouth again
And let me drink the life that sets this spirit free
Come, come into these arms that death itself has kissed
And drown forever in the rapture of my kiss

Sigh*. All alone again

Home alone and I am feeling very horny... would love to chat

I am devastated
Old and quite kind man fall in love with my images.
All Ladies tricks did not work
Photos and verses were stronger than Stright No
below...
It looks like Kate get into troubles of her role...
Hope not more girly problems...

A Sleep ...

My gates are closed.
Garden sleeps
In quiety of night
So many failed
Open gate...
Why do you
Wish to try?
I might agree
Might open
Door
Might even
Talk time through...
It is excuse
To say upon
I never love,
Love true...
Do you so wish
Me lie and try?
You wish me
Get undressed?
Is it the only reason
Why
You are
My Garden Guest?
No...?
you just wanted see
The plants?
Cornflowers in night...?
Strange wish my visitor
Alas
They are shadows of my past...

I wish
I'll fall in Love one day
And open
To my dreams...
But I have lost
My wish
To try
Be Loved
Be shy
Be pleased ...

Don't try
To change my mind
My  Guest
With hope of
Next time...
How could
I be ...,
Ohh well,
"Princess..."
All after
I have passed?
Forgive me
Shyness
Please, excuse
That I am
Saying straight
My Lotus
Sleep,
Forever
Sleep,
Not opens
In the night...
Please do not
Hope
"I Love You..."
Might anything
To change...
I just was touched
By orange trace
Of lips
On photograph...
I happy freindly
Chat sometimes
And write
You verses though...
But promise
Never
Never
Touch
My Hair
Just at all?
I am alone
Most life
Too late
To try to change
Yes I am old
I am doing
Fine
My voice?
What could it change...?

I could not be
too close fast
I wish
You stay unhurt...
But thank you
For you sending
Heart....
In hands
That opens night...

Please let me
Be shy girl
Away
My voice
Is just
My words...
My life
Is different
And may too frighten
You a lot....

Am I too strange?
Sentimental?
No
I don't trust in Love...
It brought
Too much
Into my life....
Unwanted
From above...


Nothing helps
He is really abusive

I just hate to play with men

No one has ever known about me, been dressing since my teens (now 57) in secret. Now live alone and just can’t resist doing it! Lol

Alone with my self

I still remember the first time fabric dared me to see myself anew. The polyester floral maxi gaudy, inexpensive, snatched from a shadowed market stall beneath buzzing orange lamps. Petals in violent pink and electric lime sprawled across it like spilled paint. I wore it home half expecting regret. Instead, when the synthetic sheen slid over skin, it moved with a borrowed audacity, whispering against thighs, insisting I stand taller in the fractured mirror. For once I lingered. The dress refused apology; it demanded witness.
Then the voile mesh wrap arrived, smoke pale and gossamer thin. I layered it timidly over black at first, arms folded like armour. But light caught the weave and traced the quiet architecture of collarbone and shoulder revealing rather than concealing. Veiling, it taught, is not burial; it is emphasis. Each shimmer became a period at the end of a sentence I had never finished speaking: I am here.
Winter brought the satin cardigan, blush rose and impossibly smooth, buttons small as moon droplets. I thought softness would diminish me. Instead it armoured me in quiet. During boardroom silences, late night doubts, the satin rested against wrists like a steady hand saying: power can arrive without sound, without edge simply by refusing to harden.
The silken kimono midnight deep, silver veins threading through named me bold outright. Sleeves swept like banners as I crossed a rooftop threshold into city light. Heads turned, not in judgment, but in recognition of someone who had stopped asking permission to fill space. The fabric did not negotiate; it declared.
Later the taffeta mermaid gown caressed with emerald discipline, gold shot and unyielding from hip to ankle. Every step became a measured ceremony spine aligned, breath shallow and deliberate. Restriction, it showed me, is not caged but choreography; I learned to dance inside the silhouette of my own resolve until the lines felt like wings.
Chiffon followed in pale fog layers, turning breakfast into sacrament, the turn of a key into procession. Ordinary hours gained cadence, became worth the slow unfurling of cloth.
And at last the chiffon voile ruffled square neck gown ivory blushed with first light, ruffles spilling like laughter caught mid fall. Wearing it felt like coronation, self bestowed. No audience required.
Now February 27, 2026 I stand alone.
Rain sheets the asphalt black and glossy. Neon bleeds upward in acid pinks, cyan, violent violet; holographic serpents twist through mist twenty stories overhead, advertising dreams no one can afford. Damp wind lifts the black silk hijab edged in silver so it floats behind me like a separate wing. Beneath, the ruffled gown moves in slow, liquid obedience to each breath, pale chiffon catching stray photons and scattering them soft against wet pavement.
Reflections fracture at my feet: fractured dragons, shattered company logos, my own silhouette stretched long and thin. Mist coils low, veiling the distance so the city feels both infinite and intimately close.
I do not shrink from the gaze of unseeing windows. I do not apologise to the indifferent hum of drones overhead. The gown breathes with me. The hijab lifts, settles, lifts again like a pulse the city has forgotten it still has. Here, rain-slicked and haloed in synthetic light, every garment I have ever worn has converged into this moment: a ceremony of one, where solitude is no longer absence but the quietest, most deliberate form of presence. I tilt my face to the falling water and let the neon baptise me in colours I once feared were too bright to claim.

Morning ladies. Home alone tomorrow so first pics will be incoming. Bit of cam fun as well. Do love my bi weekly Fridays off alone.

The rain came down in sheets, the kind that makes you wonder if the sky has finally decided the city's sins need a proper rinse. It hammered the cobbles like an angry landlord demanding back rent, and the neon signs those hopeful lies in electric pink and acid green fizzed and spat reflections that danced across puddles deep enough to drown a man's regrets.
I stood there under the brim of my hat, which had given up pretending to be waterproof about three streets ago. The turquoise satin trench coat clung to me like an ambitious squid, heavy and glistening, the sort of garment that looks magnificent in the mirror at three in the afternoon and ridiculous at three in the morning when you're soaked to the marrow and smelling faintly of wet ferret. But dignity is a luxury, and mine had pawned itself years back for a bottle of something that promised to forget.
Beside me stood the Turquoise Queen.
She didn't so much stand as preside. The satin hijab caught what little light there was and threw it back in shimmering defiance, while the oversized headscarf cascaded into a chiffon voile veil that billowed and swirled in the fog like the ghost of a particularly extravagant wedding dress that had died of embarrassment. Every time she moved even to breathe the fabric whispered secrets to the night air, expensive secrets involving rose attar and old money and perhaps the occasional small assassination. In this monochrome world of stark blacks and murderous whites, she was a scandal in turquoise, a splash of colour that the rain itself seemed too polite to touch.
I took a drag on the cigarette that had somehow survived the deluge. The smoke curled upward in lazy question marks, as if even it was wondering what the hell we were doing here.
"You know," I said, because silence is only golden until it starts to rust, "most people come to this northern town looking for opportunity. Or revenge. Or a decent kebab at two in the morning. Very few arrive dressed like the centrepiece of a particularly expensive funeral."
She tilted her head, and the veil shifted in a slow, liquid motion that suggested physics had been bribed. "And yet here I am, Grimshaw, The Gumshoe. Opportunity found me first. It was wearing a cheap suit and carrying a very sharp knife."
I grunted. Grunting is cheaper than conversation and usually gets the same results. "Opportunity has a habit of leaving bodies behind. That's why they pay me to follow the stains."
A passing drunk staggered through a puddle that may or may not have contained tomorrow's headlines. He stared at her veil as though it might contain the meaning of life, then decided it probably didn't and lurched onward toward whatever oblivion still had room for one more customer.
The fog thickened, turning the streetlamps into soft, accusing halos. Somewhere in the distance a greasy takeaway exploded in a brief symphony of swearing and sizzling fat. Life in the town: always conducting itself with unnecessary drama.
She lifted one gloved hand turquoise, naturally and pointed toward the mouth of an alley that smelled strongly of yesterday's fish and tomorrow's trouble. "The man we're after went that way. He thinks shadows will hide him."
"They won't," I said. "Shadows in this town are unionised. They demand overtime for hiding villains after midnight."
Her laugh was low, like velvet dragged over broken glass. "Then let us give them something to earn their pay, Detective."
I flicked the cigarette into a puddle where it hissed its last. The Turquoise Queen moved ahead, veil trailing like a comet's tail made of expensive regret. I followed, because that's what you do when the only alternative is standing alone in the rain wondering why the universe bothers.
Somewhere ahead, a door creaked. A scream started, then thought better of it.
The night was just getting interesting.

Who's having a sexy Sunday all dressed up. Alone or not?

Just home alone

Patti gets to play tonight , lll be home alone , can’t wait to feel my dress and heels

Feeling alone and horny.....luv to message u...Cassey

I'm just all alone here partying all by myself and hard and horny is there any one else that would like to chat me really hard and fast lol

Another outfit from my day alone. Trying out a blouse and skirt combo.

I remember my first date with a man. It happened many years ago in May 2011.We arranged the meet through the website for crossdressers/transvestites and their admirers where we both had profiles.He lived in Slough (UK) where he lived alone after his divorce.I was both extremely nervous and excited at the thought that I would be with a man in the very intimate way. I hardly could sleep at night thinking all the time what to wear,what sort of makeup to put on. I know that men love stockings and heels so I took my best pair of ff stockings and heels with me. I also packed my best pencil dress. He picked me at the station in Slough and we went to his place.I felt I was shaking inside with excitement. He took me to his bedroom where I changed my clothes whilst he excused himself.I put on some red lipstick and mascara and my bob black wig. He came back completely naked. My heart started beating like crazy when he approached me and he touched my small clit through the fabric of my lace panties. Gosh, I thought to myself "yess its going to happen".He helped me to pulled down my panties and I started walking around dressed only in a black bullet bra,black stocking with matching supender belt and 6 inches heels. I heard him gasping and I noticed that his **** started to glister.He approached me and grabbed me from behind and started kissing my neck and I turned around and he forced his tongue into my mouth and I didn't resist it. It was so exciting being kissed by a man.He was a good kisser.Also he started rubbing his penis against mine whilst we were kissing.Strangely I was thinking about his wife he had divorced recently so I thought to myself " was the same way he kissed his wife as he's kissing me now".And after that we went to bed together....

I remember the exact moment I decided the night belonged to me alone. The room smelled of rosewater, old bruised satin drapes, and the faint metallic tang of ancient makeup. Mirrors surrounded me like silent courtiers, each reflecting a different fragment of the creature I was becoming. Tonight I wasn't just performing, I was ascending. First came the foundation: cool porcelain over warm skin, smoothed until I looked carved from moonlight. Then the eyes. Oh, the eyes. I dipped a fine brush into that impossible turquoise pigment the exact shade of tropical shallows under storm clouds and painted sweeping wings that stretched toward my temples. Eyelashes like black lace fans. Lips the colour of bruised sapphires, outlined sharper than a guillotine's edge. Cheeks dusted with shimmering frost so the light would catch and fracture. The hijab went on next. Heavy turquoise satin, cool against my scalp. I wrapped it with ritual precision, tucking every rebellious strand away until only regal geometry remained. Over that, the oversized satin headscarf yards of it draped and folded into majestic pleats that framed my face like a Renaissance altarpiece gone deliciously rogue. Then the cascading chiffon voile veil, light as breath, heavy with intention. It spilled from the crown in watery layers, catching every flicker of candlelight and turning it into liquid mercury. The gown followed: high necked, modest in the Victorian sense, scandalous in every other. Satin bodice hugging just enough to remind the world what architecture the body can achieve, then exploding into flowing panels of voile and satin that whispered across the floor like conspiratorial ghosts. Ankle length, yes, but the way it moved suggested it might lift at any moment and carry me off the ground entirely. I stepped into the main chamber. The throne waited upholstered in the same decadent turquoise satin, tufted and tasselled, looking like something a decadent Ottoman sultan might have abandoned in a fit of ennui. I arranged myself upon it slowly, deliberately. One leg crossed over the other, spine straight as cathedral architecture, chin tilted just so. Left hand resting on the armrest, fingers splayed to show off the long turquoise nails. Right hand splayed in a gesture that could have been benediction, accusation, or invitation take your pick. Then came the lighting. A single harsh key light from high right, carving brutal shadows across the left side of my face; a faint fill from low left to keep the eyes from disappearing into darkness; everything else swallowed by velvet black. Chiaroscuro taken to theatrical extremes. The satin drank the light and threw it back richer, glossier, almost liquid. My skin glowed like moonlit marble. The veil caught stray photons and turned them into faint turquoise fireflies suspended in air. I struck the pose. Head turned three quarters, gaze locked on some invisible point just beyond the fourth wall. Lips parted the tiniest fraction as though I were about to deliver the wittiest, most devastating line in the history of spoken language, but had decided silence was crueler. One eyebrow infinitesimally raised. The veil drifted slightly with my breath, a slow, hypnotic undulation. Somewhere in the darkness, I heard a stifled giggle. Good. Let them laugh. Let them gasp. Let them clutch their pearls and question every certainty they ever held about gender, grief, glamour, and good taste. Because here I sat mourning queen of nothing and everything, turquoise flamed phoenix in widow's weeds, Caravaggio's most flamboyant fever dream filtered through Doré's feverish embellishments. The shadows deepened around me, thick as ink. The satin throne gleamed like wet paint. My makeup shimmered, defiant and absurd and utterly regal. And in that perfect, ridiculous, holy instant, I felt it: I was the most beautiful thing in the universe.

Alone in a hotel room if anyone’s wants to telegram me @cuddlygraybear

Name's Delilah "Dolly" Malone, private eye by trade, sissy by nature. Obese, overweight, and unapologetic about it, I waddled through this apocalypse in a Barbie pink ankle length trenchcoat that billowed like a parachute in the fallout wind. Underneath, my pink Victorian mourning attire clung to my rolls, a long pink satin gown with subtle sheen highlights that caught the dim rad lights just right, making me shimmer like a forbidden dream. My oversized pink satin headscarf framed my face, tied in a bow that screamed Rococo excess, and a sheer pink chiffon voile veil draped over it all, misting my vision in rosy haze. Glossy shiny deluxe blouse frills peeked out at the collar, frilly as a sissy maid's apron. Dramatic pink lips, pink eyeliner I painted myself like a doll in a world gone gray. Hard boiled? Sure, but with a soft center that melted at the wrong touch. It started like any other gig in this irradiated hellhole, the kind where the client slinks into your office smelling of desperation and cheap perfume. My office was a gutted bungalow on what's left of Sunset Boulevard, walls papered with faded starlet posters glowing faintly from the rads. She walked in or slithered, more like a femme fatale straight out of the old reels, but twisted by the apocalypse. Tall, gaunt, with skin like irradiated porcelain and eyes that could melt lead. Called herself Veronica Voss, heir to some pre war studio fortune, or so she claimed. "Dolly," she purred, her voice like velvet over razor wire, "I need you to find my husband. He's gone missing with a stash of pre-war gold the kind that could buy us a ticket out of this wasteland." I should've walked away. But her gaze lingered on my pink ensemble, a smirk playing on those blood red lips. "You look... exquisite," she said, tracing a finger along my frilled blouse. Love or money? Hell, in my line of work, it's always both. I took the case, lured like an innocent lamb to the slaughter. Average? Me? Law abiding? In this world, survival's the only law, but yeah, I was tempted. She dangled promises, a cut of the gold, a night in her arms, where I'd be her pretty little doll. My heart, buried under layers of satin and fat, fluttered like a trapped bird. The trail led to the ruins of the Hollywood Sign, now a jagged "HOLLYW D" mocking the sky. Dutch angles everywhere, the ground tilted under my heels, my pink gown swishing as I lumbered up the hill, veil fluttering in the toxic breeze. I found clues: a scorched map to a vault in the old MGM lot, whispers of a heist crew Veronica's hubby had assembled. Perfect crime, they thought crack the vault, grab the gold, vanish into the Mojave like ghosts. But greed's a hungry beast. I pieced it together from rad scorched notes and bullet riddled bodies: internal betrayal, bad luck from a radstorm that fried their getaway vertibird. The hubby was dead, double crossed by his own femme fatale wait, no. By Veronica? My gut twisted. That's when it got personal. Digging deeper, I uncovered photos in the vault pre war snapshots of a man who looked too familiar. Me? No, couldn't be. But the face... my face, slimmer, harder, before the bombs, before the pink. Amnesia hit like a sledgehammer. I'd blacked out chunks of my past after the fallout, waking up in this body, this craving for satin and veils. Identity crisis? You bet. Turns out, I wasn't always Dolly. I was that hubby or a clone, or some rad mutated twin. Veronica had lured me in before the war, manipulated me into a heist for her studio's hidden fortune. I stole, I killed, she betrayed me, left me for dead in the blast. Now, post apocalypse, she'd tracked me down, not knowing it was me under the pink, the fat, the frills. She wanted the gold I'd stashed in my fogged memory. Corruption seeped in like fallout rain. The case turned dangerous her goons on my tail, corrupt Enclave remnants posing as authorities, accusing me of the old murders. Innocent man on the run? Wrongfully accused in a world where justice is a loaded .45. I evaded them through the twisted streets, my trenchcoat snagging on barbed wire, pink satin tearing like my sanity. Hiding in a bombed out mansion, I confronted her. "You," I gasped, veil askew, lips smudged. "You did this to me." She laughed, that velvet razor slicing deep. "Darling, you were always a pushover. A little love, a little money and look at you now, all dolled up." She drew a pearl handled pistol, the trap sprung. The heist gone wrong? This was round two. I lunged obese, but fueled by rage knocking the gun away. We tumbled in Dutch angled chaos, shadows twisting like my gown's sheen. But greed won. She grabbed the gold map from my pocket, shot me in the gut. As I bled out on the irradiated floor, pink staining red, I realized: destruction was always the endgame. For the lured innocent, the doomed detective, the betrayed sissy in a world of gray. Fade to black, darling. Fade to pink.

I'm coming to London for four nights on the 24th Feb for course work
staying an a hotel. I'll be alone and needy if anyone wants to cum over.

I never chose this life so much as it chose me, one silken whisper at a time, across sixty four slow turning years. It began in the hush of boyhood, fingers trembling as they brushed the cool satin of my Mother’s Sunday slip, the fabric sighing against my skin like a secret finally given voice. Midnight experiments followed stolen dresses in dim bedrooms, heartbeats loud against lace, the mirror a conspirator that never judged. Then came the decades of careful folding away marriage, children, the steady performance of an ordinary man while upstairs, behind false panels in the attic, a private gallery of satins and chiffons dreamed in silence. Now the children have flown, my Turkish wife of forty five winters slipped away on the softest November breath two months past, and the last tether has loosened. At sixty four I have stepped fully into the role I have always carried inside. No audience remains to disappoint. Only the mirrors, patient and kind. I have become Hanimefendi,(Turkish for Lady) the sissy Victorian housemistress of this quiet manor of memory and candlelight. I have worn Black Satin Widow's Weeds for the previous two months, now I am working through my own colour spectrum. I dallied with Pink and enjoyed the experience but as a Cityzen, Turquoise, Marine Blue and shades of Sky Blue, has always called to me as a long time supporter of Manchester City. The ritual begins at dusk. First, the high waisted, long leg panty girdle in deepest turquoise satin firm yet forgiving, a decadent embrace that smooths time’s gentle rounding into elegant lines. It clasps me with theatrical intimacy, promising glamour in every restrained breath. Then the gown descends: floor sweeping turquoise satin, reborn from widow’s weeds into defiant opulence. The bodice clings like liquid moonlight through the torso before cascading into extravagant gypsy ruffles that bloom at the hips. Sleeves impossibly long, sissy long billow from shoulder to deep, rose trimmed cuff, swaying with each gesture like languid waves. The fabric catches every flicker, its subtle sheen tracing molten highlights along every fold, turning motion into shimmering poetry. Over shoulders and throat drifts the sheer turquoise chiffon voile veil, gossamer as exhaled breath, floating a hand’s span from my face. It softens the lines age has etched without concealing them grief veiled, yet radiant. Last, the oversized turquoise satin hijab headscarf, wrapped and pinned with reverent precision. Its rich, glossy folds frame my features like a reliquary of lapis and sea glass, the colour chosen deliberately: mourning need not be monochrome. Sorrow, too, can blaze jewel bright. I move through the rooms by candlelight alone. Tall silver holders spill pools of gold, dramatic chiaroscuro carves deep satin shadows into ruffles and pleats while the satin itself ignites vibrant, unearthly turquoise glowing against the gloom like bioluminescent tide. Each step sends a soft hiss of fabric across oak boards, the veil drifts behind me like sea mist following a ship of ghosts. I dust phantom mantelpieces, rearrange crystal that asks nothing of me, murmur instructions to maids who exist only in the echo of my voice. Sometimes I pause before the tall pier glass in the upper hall and simply regard the figure there. In its depths I see the frightened boy who once quaked at satin’s rustle. I see the husband who learned to fold himself small. And I see her, me Hanimefendi sixty four, unapologetic, swathed in extravagant turquoise like a proclamation stitched in light. The world beyond these walls may still insist on its muted uniforms, but here, in these shadowed chambers, I have rewritten the grammar of grief. It is not devolved from mourning black to ash-grey. It is this fierce, swimming blue green that drinks candle flame and gives it back brighter. It is theatrical, shameless, mine. Tonight, as ever, I lower myself into the worn leather armchair beside the tall window. Ruffles settle around me like spilled ink, veils float, then still. The silence enfolds me, tender as old satin. No one watches. Except the mirror. And in my mind's eye it has always approved.

I just want to say……..Thank you! I have never felt as sexy as I do when I’m on this sight! You are all amazing and beautiful! I’m humbled by
the fact I am not alone.

Patti can only be Patti when she is home alone and here lately she has no alone time, she really misses being herself and feeling pretty

In the dim parlour of a narrow terraced house on the edge of town, where the January dusk pressed against fogged windowpanes, Hanimefendi (once Tony, though the name now felt like an old coat left in the attic) sat perfectly still before the tall cheval mirror.
At sixty four, the body that looked back at her was soft and heavy, rolls of flesh pressing against the seams of her chosen mourning. Yet every inch of it had been reclaimed in Barbie Pink the violent, unapologetic pink of bubblegum, flamingos, and little girls’ birthday dreams. She had buried the muted blacks and charcoals of conventional widowhood the same afternoon she buried her former self. Grief, she decided, deserved better than drabness. Grief deserved to scream.
Her long gown swept the floorboards in heavy, liquid folds of pink satin. The fabric caught the lamplight in subtle, expensive highlights shimmering like wet sugar or the inside of a seashell. Tiny seed pearls marched along the modestly high neckline and down the front in orderly, virginal rows. The sleeves ended in deep cuffs of gathered pink chiffon that trembled with each slow breath.
Over the gown rode the blouse: glossy, deluxe, almost liquid in its sheen. Frills cascaded from throat to waist like a waterfall of spun sugar ruffles upon ruffles upon ruffles, each edge finished with the thinnest piping of darker rose. The cuffs alone could have doubled as christening bonnets.
But the true crown was the headscarf.
An oversized triangle of blush pink satin, almost cartoonishly large, draped from the top of her head and cascaded past her shoulders in glossy waves. She had tied it under the chin with an extravagant bow, the ends trailing like rabbit ears. Pinned beneath it floated a sheer pink chiffon voile veil long enough to brush the upper swell of her ample chest, fine enough that her features showed through like a watercolour left in the rain. The veil softened the male jawline she had once hated, blurred the double chin, turned every blink into something theatrical and tender.
Her mouth was a dramatic wound of matte fuchsia, outlined sharper than a paper cut. Above it arched brows drawn in powdery rose, while the eyelids shimmered with pearlescent pink shadow and were rimmed in vivid bubblegum liner that flicked outward in exaggerated Rococo commas. Cheeks bloomed with circular rouge like a porcelain doll painted by an over enthusiastic child. The overall effect was sissy maid meets Marie Antoinette in full defiant mourning feminine, excessive, absurdly pretty, and deliberately inconsolable.
He, her male persona had hated the colour pink. Called it childish. Called it weak. On the nightstand sat the little brass urn containing what remained of him, his cremated wardrobe of male clothes, positioned so that the urn had no choice but to stare at her forever.
Hanimefendi lifted one plump, ring laden hand. The nails were lacquered the exact shade of strawberry marshmallow. She touched the veil where it lay across her lips, pressing the satin bow against them as though kissing herself goodnight.
I wore navy coloured clothes for forty-one years, she whispered to the mirror, voice low and cracked from crying and cigarettes she had given up in 1998. Navy and sensible shoes and ‘yes dear’ and ‘not now.’ You had your funeral in charcoal. Mine is pink. Barbie bloody pink. And I’m not sorry.
A tear escaped, cutting a bright path through the rouge. It hung on the veil like dew on candyfloss before soaking in.
She rose slowly, arthritic joints protesting and moved to the ancient radiogram in the corner. The needle settled onto an old 78. A scratchy soprano began to sing something unbearably sentimental about lost loves and rose gardens. Hanimefendi began to sway. The gown whispered against itself. The frills trembled. The veil floated like breath.
In the mirror a vast, pink, glittering figure danced alone widowed, overweight, outrageously made up, and for the first time in six decades entirely herself.
She was mourning, yes. But she was mourning in colour. And the house, for one evening at least, smelled faintly of rose talc, hot satin, and the sweetest kind of revenge.

Alone again lol xx

Alone in the office

Hey!!!!!
Can we talk ??
Matured minds alone pls

In the dim afternoon light of my bedroom, I sit before the antique dressing table that once belonged to my Wife. The black satin headscarf rests across my lap like spilled ink, its oversized folds still carrying the faint lavender I keep tucked inside the drawer. The veil those fragile layers of sheer black chiffon voile hangs from the wardrobe door, trembling slightly whenever the January wind finds its way through the sash window. Outside, the town lies quiet under the grey sky of the 16th of January 2026.
I run a lace gloved finger along the jet beading on the bodice, the little beads cold at first, then warming as though they remember my body heat. Why this? The question rises again, steady as my own heartbeat. It isn’t only the crossdressing; that word feels too narrow, too modern for what moves through me. This is mourning chosen, worn deliberately, as though putting on these heavy black satins lets me grieve properly, not just for my Wife, but for the version of myself I kept locked away all those years.
I see flashes of the past: my Grandmother’s photograph album, those stern Victorian and Edwardian women in crepe and veils, faces made beautiful by sorrow. I used to stare at them longer than any boy was supposed to, feeling something stir that had no name. Later, during the decades with my Wife, the secret grew in silence satin bought at antique fairs, a chiffon veil ordered late at night from sellers who asked no questions. My Wife never knew, or if she guessed, she let it lie. She would smile when I came home with yet another silk or satin scarf, teasing me about my “fancy tastes,” and I would laugh along, the words both a comfort and a small, private wound. Did I steal something from her by never speaking the truth? Or was the silence kinder, preserving the life we built of Sunday dinners, walks up on the hill across the fields, the kettle whistling in the kitchen while we listened to the afternoon play on Radio 4? The clothes themselves seem to answer me. The satin is cool against my skin at first, then softens, accepts me. It wraps around the shape I carry inside, the one that never quite fitted the name Tony. When I wear it, I become Tonya the widow I sometimes feel I have always been. The mourning isn’t only for my Wife’s death two months ago, it is for all the years I lived half hidden, for the conversations never had, for the evenings I stood alone in front of the mirror trying on fragments of this other life. Out in the town, beneath the veil, the world blurs into gentle greys. People nod with quiet respect, the way they would to any Victorian widow stepping out of time. In those moments the doubt falls away and I feel something close to power, loss made visible, made dramatic, made mine. Yet when I come home and sit here, the questions return. At Sixty Four, is this foolishness or finally honesty? The mirror shows silver hair escaping the satin folds, lines carved by time across my face. Is it too late to become who I have always been inside? Then I remember my Wife’s hand in mine during those last weeks, her voice thin but certain: “Be happy, love. Whatever that looks like.” Perhaps this is what it looks like layers of black satin and chiffon, the headscarf framing my face like a dark halo, the veil softening everything until even my doubts feel bearable. I rise slowly, fold the headscarf with the same care I once used to fold my handkerchiefs after ironing. The reflections will come back tomorrow, and the day after. They are complicated, tangled, sometimes painful. But they are mine, and for the first time I am not afraid to hold them. The wardrobe waits, patient and open. So do I.

I shouldnt be left alone #crossdressing #feelinghot

My fingers tremble, just a faint quiver, as I reach for the foil packet on the nightstand. It’s almost weightless, a promise in silver. I tear it open with deliberate care (the small rip loud in the stillness), and the condom unfurls like liquid mercury. Cool and impossibly thin, it glides down over my already aching ****, sheathing me in a trembling second skin. Safe. Secure. A fragile barrier between me and the avalanche of satin to come. A bead of pre-cum kisses the latex tip; I smile. Patience, little sissy. You’ll have your reward.
The first layer is a whisper-pink satin chemise, so fine it feels wet. I let it slither over my head, down my chest, until the hem brushes mid-thigh. Instantly it warms, clings, releases, and clings again with every breath. My palms chase the fabric, front and back, greedy for the slick heat blooming beneath my touch.
Next, the Black nightgown (double-layered, heavy, devotional). I step into it and draw it upward. The inner lining kisses the chemise, and they sigh together: shhh, shhh, my private lullaby. It falls to my ankles in a perfect liquid column. When I move, both layers ripple, cool against cool, warmer where my body heat pools.
The robe is deep rose, quilted satin outside, and champagne gloss within. Arms slide into sleeves, and the lining floods over my skin like chilled cream poured slow. I cinch the sash, and the world contracts: four surfaces of satin now stroking one another with every heartbeat (chemise on nightgown, nightgown on robe lining, lining on skin). I walk barefoot across the room, and the fabrics answer in overlapping waves: the chemise clings, the nightgown glides, and the robe slithers and sweeps. A private orchestra of frictionless lust.
In the mirror I’m only blush and ivory shimmer, face flushed above an ocean of gloss. I lift my arms; sleeves fall back like slow-motion waterfalls. When they drop, the collapse is a soft, wet thud against my body that I feel in my teeth.
I sink onto the midnight-blue satin duvet and let the robe bloom beneath me. On my back, layers flatten and spread, cool against my shoulder blades, my thighs, and the arches of my feet. I arch (just slightly) and the slide is obscene: satin on satin on satin, endless, merciless.
Knees drawn up, fabric pools thick and warm between my thighs like molten candy. My palms smooth down the front (quilted diamonds, slick columns, clinging chemise, skin), and every layer moves with me, against me, inside me.
Now the first of my headscarves, ballet-slipper pink, three feet of pure satin. Folded triangle wide, draped, pulled beneath my chin, crossed, and knotted tight. It cups my jaw and seals my throat. A second knot sits just under my lower lip like a soft gag. The world muffles instantly.
Second scarf, ivory and heavier. Over the first, tied again triangle wide. Four thicknesses now cradle my head, press my cheeks, and frame my face in a gleaming oval.
Third, a deep rose bandeau wound low, looped twice, and knotted at my nape. My chin is forced gently down; swallowing makes every layer glide against my throat in one slow, liquid swallow of its own.
Then the veils.
Pink chiffon, so sheer it’s barely there, yet it turns every texture beneath into a caress. Ivory voile next, pinned high, floating like breath. Last, pale mint over my face alone, tucked beneath the lowest knot. The room becomes watercolor. Breathing through it is filthy intimacy: the fabric flutters against my lips, tasting faintly of dye and my own heat.
A final white satin ribbon, narrow and merciless. Three coils around my neck over every knot, until only a thick, glossy band remains, pulsing with my heartbeat.
From crown to toe, only satin and chiffon speak. When I turn my head, the scarves whisper, and the veils drift like perfume. Pressure under my chin is constant, loving, and absolute.
One sleeved hand slips beneath the pooled folds at my thighs (satin, satin, satin then the cool, taut drum of latex). The contrast is blinding. I stroke once, slowly. My breath flutters the veil against my lips.
Knees higher. The other hand presses the stacked knots beneath my chin (gentle ownership). I begin: lazy circles that turn greedy. The condom translates every ridge of fabric into bright, liquid fire. Veils drift across my chest with each ragged inhale. Heat blooms, trapped, multiplied, sacred.
Faster. Hips rock. The robe lining slithers against the duvet in one long, wet slide. Scarves tighten as my head sinks deeper into the pillow; the ribbon collar throbs.
Release crashes silent and total. I bite down on nothing but chiffon, a muffled whimper swallowed by layers. Pleasure pours into the latex sheath in thick, obedient pulses, trapped and perfect, echoing through every fold until my whole body is one long satin tremor.
After, I lie glowing. The condom keeps me immaculate (another reverent layer). My chest rises and falls beneath quilted satin and drifting voile; tiny aftershocks ripple like quiet tides.

I don't want to go to the pub alone.

A day spent home alone

Are there cd friends or im alone?

What the f.uck is going on with this website,dick flashers,fake profiles,and f.ucking misfits wherever you look,let alone so called m.istresses wanting to tell you how to eat your breakfast properly,my block button is f.ucking worn out,give it a rest ffs!!

All alone in bed again

Well, it's 1:36am and I'm just chilling here alone once again.. it's been a couple of days since i posted on here so I just wanted to say hi to you guys so... HI!! 👋🏻 I hope all is well and keep being awesome out there

I have just woke up wrapped up in our satin nightdresses, at a time before her illness made sleeping together a problem, we had matching satin pink nightdresses. Last night I pulled the suitcase down from the top of the wardrobe and laid them out on the bed. Pink Simply Be Pretty Secrets Nightdresses in lovely silky satin. Full covered shoulder to capped sleeves with lace piping and spread across the breast. Calf length satin shimmering in Pink. My wife's is regularly worn in UK size 32/34, mine is newer UK size 20/22, I liked a slimmer tight nightdress that hugged my skin, my wife wore hers two sizes bigger than her usual larger dress size to make it easier to slide around in bed. I slipped mine on and shimmied the satin down my moobs and hips to rest around my calves. My wife's was like a tent on my body, lots of voluminous extra satin material hanging loose. The double layer feeling of all the satin was wonderful and I admit the erection had to be contained within a condom because pre cum started instantly. I lay on the bed and was overcome with both longing and grief, I laid there on the bed with tears in my eyes and sobbing in my chest. When I had calmed down the sensual aspect of the double layer satin took over and led to the inevitable masturbation. Physically and emotionally I was drained and fell asleep waking a few hours later needing to take off the condom and go to the toilet for a wee. As I walked back from the toilet to the bedroom the satin reminded me of our sensuality and our love. Wrapped in the double layer of satin underneath the quilt I felt comforted and slept deep until this morning. For me this needs to become my new deeply tender and bittersweet mourning ritual, one that holds both the sharp pain of loss and the soft warmth of memory all at once. Wearing her nightdress over mine, letting all that extra satin envelop me like a tent, felt almost like being held by her again. The way the fabric moved, the shimmer, the slide of it against my skin… it’s no wonder my body responded so immediately and so completely. And now I’ve found a ritual: pulling down the suitcase, laying the nightdresses side by side on the bed, slipping into both, letting the satin hold me in that bittersweet double embrace. It’s sacred because it’s mine and hers alone. It keeps the connection alive in the most embodied way possible through touch, through memory, through the very fabric we both wore against our skin when we made love, laughed, slept, lived. Grief and desire live right next to each other; one doesn’t cancel out the other. The tears, the arousal, the release, the comfort, it all belongs within my psyche. I honored her, our love, and the sensuality we shared by allowing myself to feel everything that came up. For my state of mind, there’s something sacred in keeping those satin nightdresses layered together, in pulling them out when the longing gets too heavy, in letting them carry me back to the nights when sleeping tangled together in satin was simply how life was. I'm keeping the connection alive in the most intimate, embodied way possible. I loved her totally, and I'm still loving her beautifully in my mourning.

Another new dress thigh highs and new push up bra love being able to buy new clothes. Now some naughty alone time

Its nice to know there millions of us who like to crossdress
I remember when i first started i thought i was abnormal as time goes by i realised im not alone and some cd i find sexually attattractive

This might sound unlikely but I was alone in the office and found this dress in a colleague’s drawer. So I had to try it on, right?

Home alone
#sissy #nylon #crossdressser #transgender #feminization #bas #collant #pantyhose #stocking #pied #feet #lingerie #maletofemale #sexy #fantasme #lgbt #porn #soumission #bdsm #hosiery #trough #ladyboy #gartbelt #nails #tits #boob #****

All alone...

I am feeling lonely and in heat and going to bed alone again
When I wake up I hope my inbox is so full and filthy I sissygasm with my morning coffee.
Sorry, can't help it, I need d**k

I never really got into crossdressing until about 7 years ago, (I am 47) but it always in me and sometimes it would come out, Halloween especially, another reason I love that season.
But looking back, one of my first memories was locking myself in my older sister's room and getting caught in her dress. I think I was born to crossdress.
Now I have been single a long time and I live alone so I am free to express myself I find Cat was definitely always there, I am not one for regrets, but I wish I had set Cat free years ago, but it was a different world then.
I am pleased and thankful the Cat can come out of the bag now, even if the bag is hidden in closet.

Hey guys some story time
I was home alone so wanted to dress as g i r l but also was feeling so h o r n y so i took my new pair of revealing outfits wore them and got as much drunk as i could and then i took my you know the toy and did it 3 times in 3 different positions it felt so good it felt like heaven and also more drunkness added that extra icing to it
that was it
I think you should try it too
Ok bye