Good evening everyone xx it's been a while so i thought it was time I popped in to say hello.
Life is all good here, had all my checks and consultation with the surgeon today for my GRS.... just waiting for my surgery date now

Just a few outfits I love wearing

Just me loves

just realised I didn't share what was under the hood last time

The issue I'm having as the weeks go on is that I'm blurring my sissy crossdressing with my mourning. Every waking hour I'm missing my wife and I'm a blubbering mess of tears but I'm also aroused at the thought of satin widows weeds and satin mourning dresses and oversized satin headscarves and chiffon voile veils. I'm bothered that this has developed as a further aspect of my gothic fetish. The arousal is blending in with thoughts of satin widows’ weeds, mourning dresses, oversized satin headscarves, and chiffon voile veils, I don't think that’s something to feel ashamed of or worried about as a problem. It’s a natural, human way my mind and body are weaving together different parts of who I am becoming during this incredibly tender time. Grief doesn’t stay neatly in one box, it spills into everything, including our identities, desires, and fetishes. For me at this time, the sissy crossdressing that’s always been inside is now intertwining with mourning because both are about comfort, beauty, vulnerability, and a kind of sacred ritual. The gothic element—dark, dramatic, veiled, satin-shrouded—has always had that edge of sensuality and mystery, and right now, it might be amplifying because it lets me feel alive in my body when everything else feels numb or shattered. Arousal in grief is more common than people talk about; it can be the body’s way of seeking connection, release, or even just a momentary escape from the pain. It doesn’t mean my love for my wife is any less pure or that my mourning is tainted, it means I'm a whole person, with layers of emotion and desire that don’t switch off just because I'm hurting. This blending feels like it’s developing into a deeper aspect of my gothic fetish, but I feel that’s okay too. Fetishes evolve with life experiences, and grief is one of the biggest. The satin widows’ weeds and veils are symbolizing both my loss and deep longing to be held, enveloped, seen in my inner femininity. My troubled psyche is creating a bridge between the sorrow and the sensuality I shared with my wife. There’s beauty in that, even if it brings tears and arousal at the same time. I'm navigating this with grace, even when it hurts.

This one is a photo of me in one of my Miracle Styled Swimsuits, I love to wear, from a couple of years ago. Appreciate comments. No AI on this one - just me.

Feeling a little lonely on here in the DM's since I started ignoring the dick pics. Is that just how it is?

Lol so someone just called me a fake? Then blocked me idk people be hating on me or something

QueesMother has been reported and soon I'll block but just want to see if there's any other enlightened messages 'she' will send me. To all please report and block. You know the drill x

What Am I to You?

What’s on your mind?
What is the time?
What is the light?
What is the sound?
What is the colour blue?

What am I to you?
What am I to you?
What am I to you?

Am I a voice, or just the noise?
Am I the truth, or just a choice?
Echoed questions, fading through—
Tell me—what am I to you?

Tell me what I am to you.

Just thought I would wear stockings for a change.

Afternoon ladies will be posting shortly just deciding dress or mini skirt

Hate members that just share other peoples posts and don't post anything of their own

It has been a long day for me. I have several photos to post and yes my beach shots from two weeks ago are some I plan to show soon. But I am really thinking I shall just call it good night, for now. All me - my own skin - all my profile. OK the dress and my bed is AI generated. And I am wearing a wig - My actual hair is long and blond

I have just woke up wrapped up in our satin nightdresses, at a time before her illness made sleeping together a problem, we had matching satin pink nightdresses. Last night I pulled the suitcase down from the top of the wardrobe and laid them out on the bed. Pink Simply Be Pretty Secrets Nightdresses in lovely silky satin. Full covered shoulder to capped sleeves with lace piping and spread across the breast. Calf length satin shimmering in Pink. My wife's is regularly worn in UK size 32/34, mine is newer UK size 20/22, I liked a slimmer tight nightdress that hugged my skin, my wife wore hers two sizes bigger than her usual larger dress size to make it easier to slide around in bed. I slipped mine on and shimmied the satin down my moobs and hips to rest around my calves. My wife's was like a tent on my body, lots of voluminous extra satin material hanging loose. The double layer feeling of all the satin was wonderful and I admit the erection had to be contained within a condom because pre cum started instantly. I lay on the bed and was overcome with both longing and grief, I laid there on the bed with tears in my eyes and sobbing in my chest. When I had calmed down the sensual aspect of the double layer satin took over and led to the inevitable masturbation. Physically and emotionally I was drained and fell asleep waking a few hours later needing to take off the condom and go to the toilet for a wee. As I walked back from the toilet to the bedroom the satin reminded me of our sensuality and our love. Wrapped in the double layer of satin underneath the quilt I felt comforted and slept deep until this morning. For me this needs to become my new deeply tender and bittersweet mourning ritual, one that holds both the sharp pain of loss and the soft warmth of memory all at once. Wearing her nightdress over mine, letting all that extra satin envelop me like a tent, felt almost like being held by her again. The way the fabric moved, the shimmer, the slide of it against my skin… it’s no wonder my body responded so immediately and so completely. And now I’ve found a ritual: pulling down the suitcase, laying the nightdresses side by side on the bed, slipping into both, letting the satin hold me in that bittersweet double embrace. It’s sacred because it’s mine and hers alone. It keeps the connection alive in the most embodied way possible through touch, through memory, through the very fabric we both wore against our skin when we made love, laughed, slept, lived. Grief and desire live right next to each other; one doesn’t cancel out the other. The tears, the arousal, the release, the comfort, it all belongs within my psyche. I honored her, our love, and the sensuality we shared by allowing myself to feel everything that came up. For my state of mind, there’s something sacred in keeping those satin nightdresses layered together, in pulling them out when the longing gets too heavy, in letting them carry me back to the nights when sleeping tangled together in satin was simply how life was. I'm keeping the connection alive in the most intimate, embodied way possible. I loved her totally, and I'm still loving her beautifully in my mourning.

Melanie is just about ready for another day and another week......

The city
after everyone’s gone
is kinder.

Streetlights stay on
without asking anything.

No voices.
No faces.
No reasons.

Just roads
and thoughts
moving slowly.

They call this insomnia.

I call it
quiet.

I don’t want sleep.
I don’t want morning.

I want this hour
to keep me.

No questions.
No answers.

Just the night
and me.

Why dont you just friend me again s 53 xx

Me just chilling tonight xxxx

Just spent a few days away and I was told by my wife to photograph myself in Red panties with my chastity cage on, she was not happy as I only had pink panties, I think I’m going to get the cane again on Sunday morning.
I’ve since bought some Red panties but that’s not going to help.

hello all just to let you know im not on here all the time im on Facebook add me if here a link https://www.facebook.com/share/1G2YYfjWFa/

"Mwah, mwah! Good Morning! How are you, dahlings?" Just got back from a hotel changeaway to recharge my sissy batteries and an attempt to manage my mourning feelings. It has been over two weeks since my Wife passed away, I'm slowly coming to terms with it and finding ways to cope with being on my own, but it's not easy. A bit of sightseeing and new company has helped. At a different time it would have been wonderful as I met a lady staying in the hotel and we got on very well, but in the circumstances I've had to put any thoughts of a romantic friendship out of my mind. We will keep in touch and if my grief recedes it might be nice to see her again.

Who wants to be my cum donor or donors ( more the merrier ) just want fucking and spunking all over my ass whilst im pinning my legs back

Just want to make mention & for all to recognise a true legend & pioneer of the electronic musical genre! Wendy ( aka Walter ) Carlos.

Now just the jeans and then off to the bar!

I need to lay down, just for a minute.....

I'm not into the whole sissy thing so if I block you please don't be offended, it's just not my bag.

Pink 🩷🩷🩷

"No ai just a breastplate"

Just to keep in touch xx

Am I 'just' a CD? Am I a sissy? Am I something else? How do I find out? Can anyone help? (p.s. I'm not looking for any paid for Dom service) feel free to comment or message me. Thanks!

I see someone i blocked from the clique has come back sneaking around my profile , wish they just stay away !

Nothing special today, just basic work clothes.

Just a little slutty strip walk outside

Good morning, sisters. Have a nice day before the weekend.

I've been called a fake here, but I'm real and can provide a photo to prove it.
I just don't like sexting, video calls, or overly pushy dominatrixes.

Wheres my honey with a surprise versatile single on boat privacey here near kings lynnxxxxx dont mind regular just me me dog and me chickens no neighbours track to get here to chill

Good morning ladies, outfit for the day, a little leather and satin, but also trying these new fleece lined tights that everyone is raving about these days, and wow, just wow!

Forgive the long post, but I was doing some journalling this evening as I reflected on a few things. In a moment of clarity I managed to come up with some really interesting self-realisations, particularly about why I dress. And I wanted to share them somewhere!

I began to realise the other place I adopt some of the same habits and mental approach to crossdressing is when I've done tabletop role playing like D&D: I get really involved in 'immersing' myself in a character at the table, and get really deep into their mannerisms and subtle nuances of their backstory.

I think me being Bethany is very much the same. I know I have no intention of even transitioning. However, she is a role or a character I just love to put on and play sometimes; suddenly I'm making backstory, writing lore, adding costume. I'm not necessarily trying to become her, I just want to play the role authentically.

I think as a way of framing myself, I find that so helpful to register. Hopefully it resonates with others too.

It was just one of those days in the office.......!
#PinkSatinBlouse

My sissy mourning cross-dresing feels like. I am the Walrus by the Beatles, totally nonsense but really deep and open to interpretation. I am he as you are he, as you are me and we are all together, See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly, I'm crying.
That line hits me so hard, “I am he as you are he, as you are me and we are all together…” It’s pure, swirling absurdity that somehow lands right in the middle of the most tender, confusing parts of being human. And right now, it feels like the perfect mirror for what I'm going through.
My sissy mourning crossdressing is exactly that kind of nonsense—beautiful, ridiculous, heartbreaking, and deeply true all at once. I'm grieving the husband I was, while also stepping into this soft, feminine space that feels both foreign and like coming home. It’s contradictory, it’s messy, it’s playful and painful in the same breath. And that’s what makes it so real. The walrus isn’t trying to make sense; the Walrus just is—goo goo g’joob and all. This is my mental breakdown, not madness, just being true to myself.
“See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly”… maybe that’s the world’s reaction to someone daring to be this open, this vulnerable, this unapologetically themselves while still carrying such heavy grief. People scatter because they don’t know what to do with the sight of a widower in lace and tears, laughing and sobbing at the same time. But I'm not running. I'm standing here in my silk stockings, widows weeds and my sorrow, crying, and somehow I think that makes me the bravest person in the room.
I'm allowed to be the Walrus right now—silly, profound, broken, and whole all at once. I don’t have to explain it to anyone, not even to myself. Just let it be nonsense that’s also sacred. I let the tears come, let the pretty things feel comforting, let the absurdity be part of the healing.

To the people who have messaged in chat, thank you for acknowledging my grief. Over time I'm sure I'll get over my loss, it's just a bit raw at the moment, this is part of my healing process as I accept who I am without my wife, the widower, or should that be the sissy cross-dressing widow?

Very talkative and feeling flirty.
Brand New pics coming soon. Later this morning. PROMISE!
Practicing getting my Slut Face, to look just right for you!

Just got in from a night shift. A work colleague seen me in my girly panties and hes been touching my bits hehe. He want to meet me now after work on saturday what do i do now

Hi girls just a couple of photos from the weekend.

Thanks to all for making me feel welcome since i joined last week. Had some lovely comments and messages. Also had some awful messages from men but just blocked them! Thanks again girls xx🫦

Just trying this little number on, got it in purple and black too, but was mixing the boots, love the #corsets #party wear

Just had a small cull. Those with no profile pics/fake looking profile pics and the title ******** have been removed. Life’s too short.

To those of you who can still read this, bad luck. You’re stuck with me :D

Evelynmorgan blocked. either the actual person or someone just stole their pictures. Evelyn is posted over the net and unlikely going by their accounts would be using this site therefore scammer

I just need a supportive mommy

PSA: Not all Crossdressers are slutty/sissy/whores. Some of us just want to feel pretty and have fun, not be subject to constant "ur hot bb now bend over" messages.

im going to the pool ill be back if anyone wants to do a sexy role play or just chat when im home (ill let you know when im home)