Night Chaos

Mozarella
Tomatos
Avacados
Fine cuts...
Balsamic...
I'm still dressed
Despite freedom from wines...
Just before
My night bed
I am sending my kiss
To your pleasures
My miss
All
My chaos...
With Ann
Is just
Sudden Caprice....
...

I do know
You
Love
Love
Long time
That we lost...
We have fallen
In Love
From above
Love is Ghost...
We are both
In warm hugs
In the night
Full of cries
Tears
pain
Pain of Love
Pain of pleasures
Of Lust...
I still trust
There is Love
I still fight to remain
I just wish
You
To find,
Find
My Love's
Still the same...

Long Dream

I dream
I dream
The smell
Of late night rose
I could not ask
Nor to explain
When sudden passion
And poses
And touch
Cause subtle cry and pain...
The pleasant pain
Not being alone
Not too much long
For pleasant night...
And You are leaving
By the morning
With kiss
With hope
Happy
And no bye....

I dream
I dream
In sudden pose
Of late night rose
Long ago...
Of touch
Of pleasant pain
Despite alone
My heart still
Happy
Every day.

I wear still
My dress
That felt
In polka dot
Still
Long,
not open...
My heart is happy,
I do understand
I still in love
In wait.
I'm coping...

I know
You will never come.
Another worlds
Will keep your soul...
I know ...
you might send me sign
Not very clear
Late
Be mine
Was never whispered
But hoped...

Touch Girl like me ...

Touch Girl like me
With interest,
Dont hide it till the end
She might just fall in love with thee
And never understand
That you are also waiting touch
Touch Love
And kisses
Very much....

Portrait of Lady Gray

Future is dream
A dream
Of past...
That not to be repeated
The dream is always a surprise...
Forgotten not forbidden

A portrait
Of forgotten Lady
Dressed like a lazy earl
Shorts-dress
No skirt
Tights and
Gray hair
A perfect style for Caballero...

Future is dream
A dream
Of past...
That's not to be revealed
Young lady
Living as a man
A source of all the fear...

A witch?
A Doll?
Night Butterfly?
A bloody Amazones?
No record
In old book
No sight
Just old in shadows
Photograph
Young Lady
In shorts-dress
Young Lady's Gray
Forgotten past
And future in portret...

Train to Dreams....

I walked too long
Too much on heels
Its time for simple day...
In balerinas
On the train
For simple
Lazy stay...

Please do forget
Make up
And skirts
Enough
To be so tough
Two days in jeans
Without boy
May girl wish
Simple life?

Frustration II ...

Frustration

I could not hide
My past
Could I?
Could I be happy
As she was...
My lipstick
Does not make me fine
My smile
Hides
Or may be gone.
I feel
I could not
Open door
But no return
To past is must
I try rentlessly
To go...
But where
How...
Without smile?...
I lost so long ago
In past
Or may be never had
I do not know
How to find
And searching
Till the end ...

Straight Night ...

Talk at Tavistock....

I came to the clinic I could have been in my childhood.
I do not know what would it change, but now I often feel pity it was not tried before.

I stayed in front of that silent fraightening building with Zigmundt Freid sculpture hidden in not well cut bushes.

And suddenly door has opend
Young night nurse was worried and asked
Are you OK?
Do you need help?

The problem is I do not know what to answer. I would dream to try and enter. Perhaps too late. Would it help?
Would it change anything in my life long solitude and misreception by most of people.

I only know it is very strange Path I decided to go.
Since I became a girl I did not discarded my past, rather
Integrated wrenches and sawing needles with sawing machine.
Universal Sergant as my GrandMa...?

If I enter it my life will change.
Never look back the only what inner voice may whisper...

But I am still afraid to accept that my complexity...
Such a strange planet where magic transformation is a tale dream , but hated if becomes reality...

Walk to ... Tavistock...

I walk in night ...
You never saw
Me true...
The one who
Waited
So so long...
You've passed
In darkness
Dressed
In blue...
Gray day
A bit or rain
And fog...

I sat alone
Under shaky light
The wind
Was terrible
And cold...
Another
Missed
Forever night...
Another
Coming
Day of girl...

I am not waiting
Anymore
Enough
Of stupid
Silly hopes

I walk through
Night
That also goes
To early
Morning
In its might...

You've passed
I never got it right...
What could have been
The other kind
The other hopless
Attempt.
Without any happy end...

Check Black

"Red Shoes ..."

Lost in trans ...

Blue Dream

Just slow zipper
Of my Dream
To come to you
In Blue...

Just feel
The innosense,
Just feel
With sadness
I Love You...

I'll come to you
In Blue Denim
Not hiding
Legs by skirt

Just slow zipper
Of my Dream
Will tell
The words
Untold...

Sudden Mulfunction

A trip turned into unexpected unforeseen complications

Thought of True Solitude

Same passage
Same landscape
Same story
They leave
All sudden
As betray
You walk
Alone
All your Path
The final
Lonely
Stage
That lasts...
It gives you time
To grow girl
To give her chance
To find
Her World
Express
Without
Underestand
Say words
Of neither hope
Or pretend.
To learn
Yourself
Without
Love
Without
Praying
From above
Two Angels
Maybe
Maybe None
Be strong
In travel
With no fears
To learn
New pains
New cold
True tears
And life
Will may be not
Enough...
But nothing
Changed
Indeed
Believe me
You Old
Would pass
The same same steps
But very lonely
At End....
Forgotten
Forceless
Ill
Or Dead...

But you are
Walking...
Not the end
Just be yourself
Please understand...

You want
Me smile?
Happy face
Well matches
Sexy skirt?
I could not.
Sadness
On my face
Is Love
That's passed
That's gone.
It's still
Inside,
Inside
My heart...
Though
Secret
For the next
But skirt
Is short
Just to distract
From sadness
That remains...

Spanking dance,
Spanking chance,
Spanking trance,
Bum romance...
Tights worn sans
Spank me nice!
With warm love
Hand in glove ...
Spanking dance
Fun, fun, trance
Your bon chance...
Lust & Love perfomance...

P.S.
It is rather reminescence of happy child time, not any form of invitation...